The Sakrament of Matrimony
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Preparation Before the Meeting
Make dem ask those wey go take part to read Chapter Nine of the My Catholic Worship! book before this meeting.
5 minit – Gather Together
Small chops and time to relax and gist as people dey arrive. Try keep to time, and gather everybody together before 5 minit pass after the time wey dem fix to start.
5-10 minit – Opening Prayer and Scripture
Everybody go sit quietly as di leader start with di Sign of di Cross, then invite dem to stay silent for some time with these words:
“Make we calm ourselves as we begin this study of our glorious Catholic worship together. ‘Lord, as we sit here for one minit in silence, help each one of us to bring our own questions, worries, fears and joys to You. For this time of silence, help us to listen well to Your gentle voice wey dey speak to us, guide us and call us to deeper faith.'”
Make everybody close eye and keep quiet for about one minute, so that each person fit tell our Lord about the particular things wey dey worry am.
The leader go read this invitation:
Make we think deeply about the Word of God. Make we use these questions take reflect on our own journey of faith: I believe? How deep my faith be? I dey open to allow God speak to me? I dey open to the Word of God, and I ready to allow God’s truth enter deeper inside me? I ready to allow this new faith change my life?
The leader of the session go read these Scripture passages with prayerful mind, one at a time, and pause for about 30 seconds between each verse:
Genesis 1:27-28: God create human being for His image; na for the divine image He create am; na male and female He create dem. God bless dem, come talk say: “Make una born children and increase; fill the earth and bring am under una control.
Genesis 2:20-25: The man give name to all the cattle, all the birds for sky, and all the wild animals; but none of dem turn out to be partner wey fit the man. So the LORD God make deep sleep fall on the man, and as e dey sleep, He remove one of im ribs and use flesh close the place. Then the LORD God use the rib wey He take from the man make woman. When He bring her come meet the man, the man talk say: “At last, this one na bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh; dem go call this one ‘woman,’ because na from ‘her man’ dem take this one.” Na why man dey leave im papa and mama, hold im wife tight, and the two of dem go become one body. The man and im wife both dey naked, but shame no catch dem.
Matthew 19:1-12: When Jesus finish to talk these words, He leave Galilee go the area of Judea wey dey across Jordan. Plenty people follow Am, and He heal them there. Some Pharisees come meet Am to test Am, and dem ask, “Law allow man to divorce im wife for any reason at all?” He answer dem, “Una never read say from the beginning, the Creator ‘make dem male and female’ and talk say, ‘Na because of this, man go leave im papa and mama, join im wife, and the two of dem go become one flesh’? So dem no be two again, but one flesh. Therefore, wetin God don join together, no human being must separate am.” Dem ask Am, “Then why Moses command say make the man give the woman divorce paper and send (her) away?” He tell dem, “Na because una heart hard, Moses allow una to divorce una wives, but e no be so from the beginning. I dey tell una, anybody wey divorce im wife (unless the marriage no dey lawful) and marry another woman don commit adultery.” [Im] disciples tell Am, “If na so the matter between man and im wife be, e better make person no marry.” He answer, “No be everybody fit accept [this] word, but only those wey God don give the ability. Some people no fit marry because na so dem born dem; some, because other people make dem so; some, because dem give up marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Anybody wey fit accept this suppose accept am.”
Then the leader go talk: Make we keep quiet for small time to think deep about these words. (one minit of silence)
The Leader go invite everybody to pray for their heart as the leader dey pray this prayer aloud:
Almighty God, we thank You for the holy gift of the Sacrament of Marriage. We thank You for all marriages, and we offer each one to You. Abeg, help married couples to accept their calling with all their heart, so that dem go imitate Your perfect love and faithfulness.
Lord, for marriages wey dey face difficulties, we pray make You intervene. Abeg, bring healing, mercy and forgiveness where dem need am.
Lord, for marriages wey truly get Your blessing, we pray make You continue to shine through dem, so that the love wey husband and wife get for each other go care for their families, and so that the world go see Your own marriage to all humanity for their marriage.
Lord, dey with those wey dey seek to know whether You dey call dem to marriage. Help dem to enter this holy bond for good and holy reasons, all according to Your divine plan.
Lord, we pray for all children. Make dem discover Your own merciful love and acceptance through their parents, and grow strong for grace and virtue through the example of parents wey dey raise dem in holiness. Help every mama and papa to discover the beautiful calling wey You don give dem, so that dem go live out their calling according to Your divine plan.
The prayer time go end as everybody dey profess the Apostles’ Creed:
I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth; and in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord: wey the Holy Spirit cause make His Mother conceive Am, wey the Virgin Mary born; wey suffer under Pontius Pilate, wey dem nail to cross, wey die and wey dem bury. E descend go hell; on the third day E rise again from the dead; E ascend go heaven, E siddon for the right hand of God the Father Almighty; from there E go come judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Holy Catholic Church, the communion of Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life wey no go ever end. Amen.
45-50 minit – Questions for discussion
Make una invite each person to share something or ask question, if e want, about the questions or topics to start discussion wey dey below. Make una take one question at a time, and give each person chance to talk if e want. No let only one or two people control the discussion. Make una give everybody for the circle turn, and no fear to share wetin una think! Wetin you understand fit help another person understand the topics better. The question wey you get fit be the same question wey another person get. Some of the questions below go invite you to share your own experience; other ones go invite you to share wetin you read for the chapter for this discussion. The aim na to share wetin concern us personally and to make sure say we explain the faith of our Church clearly and everybody understand am.
- God plan marriage as part of wetin He intend for human nature from the beginning. So, marriage na first a natural institution. From there, Jesus raise am to the level of grace as a Sacrament. Reflect on these thoughts as dem concern these questions:
- You understand wetin e mean say marriage first be institution wey follow human nature before e become Sakrament?
- When marriage be natural marriage, and when e be Sakrament?
- How Original Sin affect marriage?
- Why Jesus raise marriage to the level of a Sacrament?
- Christian Marriage now fit share in divine grace and take part in the covenant wey God make with human beings. Discuss the three aims of the Sacrament of Marriage, as dem concern the high calling of married couples to imitate and share in the new Covenant of grace:
- Faithfulness: God dey faithful to us for everything. Im faithfulness no get limit. Couples get calling to share in this grace of faithfulness through their marriage vows and their firm commitment to each other alone. How the faithfulness of couples dey imitate and share in God’s faithfulness?
- Bond Wey No Fit Break: Marriage na “until death separate una.” Once the marriage bond don form, e no fit break. Again, this na to share in the commitment between Christ and the Church wey no fit break. Share wetin you think about this holy aspect of Marriage.
- Readiness to Welcome Children: God talk say make una “bear fruit and multiply.” Married couples get calling to dey ready to welcome new life. In fact, if dem deliberately leave out this aspect of marriage, then dem don leave out marriage itself. Discuss this essential aspect of marriage with these questions:
- How many children God fit want make couples dey ready to welcome? Discuss this mainly as a general matter, since each particular situation go dey different.
- Why e dey morally wrong to use artificial methods to prevent conception? Why this teaching dey so hard to accept?
- How Natural Family Planning take fit into God’s plan? How even a “mindset wey dey against conception” fit cause problem when person dey use NFP?
- Consent na the heart of marriage. Discuss the qualities wey consent must get and those things wey dey prevent person from giving full consent.
- You understand annulments? Discuss dem. Dem no be Catholic divorce; instead, dem be process to find out the truth about marriage wey don break down, so that healing and clear understanding go dey. Discuss this.
- One of the purposes of marriage na to dey ready to welcome children if God bless the couple with children. Discuss how to raise children for this our time. This fit be long discussion wey get plenty sides, and e fit include: the best ways to raise children, dangers wey children dey face today, Internet and electronic devices, school, friendships, culture wey no dey centre on God, discipline, and other things.
20 minutes – Final Reflection and Sharing
Let each person get turn to share the thing wey stand out pass for them from the discussion, or the thing wey confuse them pass, so that wetin others share fit help them understand better or more deeply.
5 minit – Closing Prayer
Make the leader start with the Sign of the Cross, then ask everybody to close their eyes and keep quiet for one minit. Make each person reflect on wetin una discuss, especially wetin touch am pass.
Then make the leader pray this prayer:
Lord God, Almighty Father, na You be the source of all love and faithfulness for each and every relationship. We dey pray especially for married couples. Help them make they continue to discover how their marriage covenant dey holy, and make they dey live according to am more deeply and faithfully every day.
Make every marriage follow the example of Your own love wey You take dey give Yourself and make sacrifice without seeking Your own gain. Make husband and wife always seek wetin go good for the other person first, and make them dey comfort, console and care for each other.
Help all parents for their duties towards their children. Make they know how to love their children as they dey care for their many needs for this world wey things dey complicated and challenges plenty. Make each family holy and make am be an image of Your own family.
Jesus, na You I trust.
Di leader go then invite everybody wey dey there to offer dia own prayer like dis (Note: Dem fit pray am aloud, but e fit better make dem pray am for silence, as di leader decide):
Make each of us now bring wetin dey worry us personally before our Lord, as we trust say He dey hear us and He know everything wey we need. Make we put these prayers for His hand with full confidence say He want to take control.
(Take one minute of silence so that each person go talk to God about their own personal needs).
Di leader go then invite everybody to end with di Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be.
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