In her Diary, Saint Faustina came to a profound realization about sin. She writes, “Oh Divine Sun, in Your rays the soul sees the tiniest specks of dust that displease You” (Diary #71). However, the opposite is also true. When a soul is not immersed in the bright light of God’s Divine Light, it fails to see not only the “specks” but also the rocks and boulders.
It’s time to allow the bright Light of the Divine Sun to shine so brightly upon your soul that you suddenly are made aware of not only the “boulders” and “rocks,” but even the tiniest of sins. For now, begin with the boulders and rocks.
Think for a while about the worst sin you have ever committed. Pause here for a short while to call it to mind, to feel its hurt and disorder, and to experience sorrow. (Silent Reflection)
As you ponder that sin, think about what would have happened to your soul if you had never repented of it. Or what if God the Father never sent the Son into the world to die for your sins and, thus, to expiate your personal sin? What if the guilt of that grave sin were still like a chain around your neck, adding a weight that you could never carry? (Silent Reflection)
In order to allow yourself to see the glory and mercy of God, it’s essential that you start by seeing clearly the greatest mercy God has shown you. Namely, the forgiveness of your worst and ugliest personal sin.
This exercise is not to depress you or make you feel guilty. On the contrary, it’s to help you enter into the deepest form of gratitude to God for His mercy. But you will never be truly grateful if you do not understand all that God has done for you. Ponder, again, the line quoted above from Saint Faustina. (Silent Reflection)
In God’s Divine Light, you see not only the grave sins of your past, you also see more clearly the tiniest “specks.” When a speck of dirt enters the eye, it is immediately aware of that speck. Why? Because the eye is sensitive. That same speck of dirt will be entirely unnoticed if attached to the heel of one’s foot, because the foot is not as sensitive as the eye.
Seek to make your soul as sensitive to your personal and past sins as an eye is sensitive to a speck of dirt. Don’t cover-up your past. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen. Face the reality of your own sin. Admit that you do deserve eternal damnation as a result of your sins. Acknowledge this. Admit it. Accept it. Embrace it. You are a sinner and you deserve eternal damnation. Unless you are comfortable seeing, believing, admitting and embracing this truth, then you will not be in a very good position to enter deeper into the mystery of Christ’s mercy. You will not be able to grow in gratitude to God for His forgiveness won on the Cross. Instead, you will take grace and mercy for granted and, therefore, you will never be able to grow in deep gratitude and love of God. (Silent Reflection)
Introduction to Foundational Meditations
- God, the Creator of All That Is
- God, the Intimate Guide for Your Life
- God, the Goal, Purpose and End of Your Life
- Sin of the Angels
- Sin of Adam and Eve
- The General Effects of Sin
- Introduction to Meditations Seven–Nine
- Personal Sin: In the Light of the Divine Sun
- Personal Sins of My Life
- Humiliation and Humility
- Death
- Judgment
- Hell
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